Instant Monologues
Babysitter Instant Monologue


BABYSITTER

INT: A MESSY HOUSEHOLD.

Adrian, age four, is being babysat by his teenage neighbor.

ADRIAN

I'm the king! King Boomhammer! You can't be the queen because the queen is gone. She got took with the dragon and the dragon went to its cave and now we have to get her but she died.

You can be the son who's in high school. And I'll be the son who's in college. And I'm the king. King Boomhammer! Boom! Boom! Boom!

Okay, I get the sword and you can have the axe.

(Hands her the axe, but she accepts it a bit too readily for his taste
and he warily takes it back.)

No, I get the axe. You can have the stethoscope. And you have to stand on the couch and get all the way to the kitchen without touching the floor because if you touch it then it'll burn your feet and your legs and your whole body and then you'll die.

Mom says I can stand on the couch as long as I take my shoes off, so you have to take your shoes off too, because I'm the king and you have to do what I say, okay?






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