Instant Monologues
Ice Cream Instant Monologue



Lori, mother of three, is trying to explain to her inattentive kids why they can't have ice cream.


When I was a kid, we didn't get ice cream after every meal. That was not how things worked back then. Desserts were for a special occasion, not because you ate the minimum allotted amount of green beans.

I once got ice cream because I scored a goal in a soccer game. Now, if my father had bought me an ice cream cone every day, that one wouldn't have been special, would it? I wouldn't have worked hard to get it. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Holidays understand this problem. You can get those little round peppermint disks at restaurants for free, but nobody wants them. Then Christmas rolls around and candy canes are in high demand. It's important to make yourself wait sometimes and to not overindulge. I won't spoil my children and I'm certainly not going to let them spoil themselves.

When I got into college, my first night I went to the dining hall where they had cafeteria-style food. One of the options was a self-serve ice cream machine. It was beautiful. It had chocolate and vanilla and even a swirl option for the two. I'd never seen so much ice cream in my life.

I ate two bowls a day for three weeks and got sicker than a dog. I also gained eight pounds, Laura, so you just sit yourself down and behave. A sure way to make something not special anymore is to gorge yourself on it. There are things that require moderation in the world, like television, and ice cream, and love.

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